Five Effective Coping Strategies That Psychologists Practice (And you can too!)
2020 has been a tough year hasn’t it been? I remember thinking when the “Safer at Home” orders first began, I thought things would get back to normal by summer. Then summer goes by, and I had hoped for being back into the normal family routines by the fall. And now we are going into the winter with the number of cases rising. It feels like what Brené Brown said in her podcast, “Unlocking Us” (Episode “Brené on Day 2”): we’re in the “middle space” where “we’re too far in to turn around and not close enough to the end to see the light.” At times like this, I try to rely on the things I so often teach my clients to help me cope.
1. Take micro breaks.
Many people are finding themselves experiencing “Zoom fatigue” and feeling more tired than usual at the end of the workday. Instead of the typical flow to your day such as your commute, in person meetings, and even conversations with coworkers by the water cooler, for many of us, our workdays are now replaced by screen time. One thing I keep reminding myself to do that has really helped is to take breaks, even if they are micro one to two minutes breaks. I make sure to get out of my chair, walk around, do some stretching, or take a moment to do a breathing awareness exercise. It helps give my eyes a break from the computer screen and helps me to take a moment to recenter before my next meeting. For more information on “How to Combat Zoom Fatigue,” I like this article by Harvard Business Review.
2. Practice self-compassion.
There have been a wide range of things we’ve had to deal with during the pandemic: losing a loved one to COVID-19, losing stable employment, having a wedding or other celebration being cancelled or postponed, adjusting to working from home, juggling home-life responsibilities, helping children with remote learning, not seeing friends face to face. All of these changes lead to grief. Additionally, our society often prioritizes productivity, which leads many feeling guilty when they are not able to do “more.” During challenging times, I often remind myself to practice self-compassion. Self-compassion means to notice that when I am in pain, to know that pain is a natural part of the human experience, and to extend kindness and compassion to myself. It means extending the type of love and kindness you would extend to your dearest friend to yourself. To learn more about self-compassion, I highly recommend Dr. Kristin Neff’s website. There, you can learn more about what self-compassion is and what it isn’t, work on practice exercises that will help you relate to yourself with more compassion, and even take a test to see how self-compassionate you are.
3. Focus on what I can control.
You might have heard of the “serenity prayer,” which encourages us to accept the things we cannot change, to have courage to change the things we can change, and to have wisdom to know the difference. Lately, I have been reminding myself to focus on the things that are in my control. While I can’t control the rate of COVID-19 infection or whether or not Costco runs out of toilet paper again, I can control how I spend my time and energy. I choose to double down on the basics of taking care of my body, such as eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising, and drinking plenty of water. I also choose to find regular time to process my emotions and to seek support from people around me. I don’t always do the best job of these things, but by intentionally focusing on these things and making them more of a priority, I can hopefully align my sight on things that I can actually change.
4. Stay connected.
One of the most important ways of coping is social connection. We are wired to connect. I have found that I feel better during the weeks when I create more meaningful connection with family and friends. I feel energized when I get to talk to my dear friends or when my partner and I come up with creative ways to have date nights. Think about some ways you can cultivate moments of connection with your loved ones. What will help you to feel nurtured? What do you miss doing together? What are some small things your partner does that you appreciate? Be sure to tell them!
5. Finding moments of awe.
I have been really inspired by the concept of seeking awe. Cultivating awe can help increase our physical and emotional wellbeing. Although finding moments of awe might feel much harder to do when our lives are busy, or when we are in quarantine during a pandemic, I have felt inspired to slow down during my day-to-day life and to take note of moments of awe. And awe doesn’t necessarily have to mean big, life-changing moments of epiphanies. They can be the small simple things; things we may take for granted on a day-to-day basis. Noticing the scent of my favorite linen spray, looking at the beautiful colors on the painting in my office, smelling the aroma of cookies in the oven, and listening to my dearies sing and laugh, are all moments of awe that I treasure. It’s all about pausing and appreciating in the moment. If you’re interested in learning more, The Greater Good Magazine has many wonderful articles on awe, such as read this one and also this one here.
So there you have it. Five strategies that we psychologists try to use in our daily lives to help us cope with the state of things in the world and our lives. They’re not deep, hidden trade secrets, but rather some things I feel that are practical and easy to do. I hope you find them helpful too as we navigate these difficult times.
You might also like…
“Five Ways to Cope with Anxiety during the COVID-19 Pandemic”
“Practicing Gratitude: What My Broken Fridge Taught Me”
Writer Bio: Dr. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY25708) in the Los Angeles area. She practices the tools above and can help you do the same. She is based in Torrance, CA and sees clients throughout California via secure online therapy platforms.