Review of “Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Dummies” by Bradley and Furrow
Don't let the title fool you, as this book is anything but dumbed down. Written by Drs. Brent Bradley and James Furrow, both EFT certified supervisors and trainers, the Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies is a great starting point for couples looking to strengthen their relationship and anyone looking to learn more about the EFT approach (the most proven successful approach to couple therapy). Like all "Dummies" books however, it is just that: a great starting point. The book itself is not meant to be a substitute couple therapy, but rather as a supplemental resource companion. Think of it more so as a great tool at your disposal for the days in between your sessions.
Similar to the other books in the Dummies line, the EFT for Dummies book's strength lies in its approachability. Bradley and Furrow do a great job of making potentially complicated, clinical theories and practices and packaging it into content that any lay person can easily access. While other workbooks may read more like a graduate level textbook and intimidate/bore a reader out of getting through it, the Dummies book successfully distills the most important parts of the EFT approach to a reader without beating them over the head with too much lexicon or superfluous detail. The jargon that is delivered are the important ones, such as the difference between primary and secondary emotions. The vocabulary in this case are ones that are more practical in terms of helping the reader make applications to their relationship behaviors rather than just teach or inform. Perhaps the most helpful part of the book however, and many of these types of books have them, are the stories and examples. The real life couples that go through what so many of us all go through help the reader relate to others' situation and in one sense, not feel alone in their relationship struggles; but in giving us a peek into others' relation lives and how they navigate through the EFT approach, EFT for Dummies gives the readers good models for what their dialogues (both internal with themselves and externally with their partners) might look like.
That is not to say however, that this book is going to be enjoyed by everyone. While Bradley and Furrow's style is meant for a wider, broader audience, there will be those that are put off by what might be considered distractions -- the checkmark lists and the icons, of which there are many, might be an eyesore to someone looking for a simple prose-only approach to sink their teeth into, uninterrupted; kind of like taking a drive down a street with too many billboards and neon light up signs. And while the main content of the book is the practical, down-to-earth parts of EFT, that is not to say that it is free of all technical things. Bradley and Furrow however, separate these parts out in partitioned sections in the chapter (what they call sidebars). Some might find this to be another distraction where in the middle of a topic, say pursuers vs withdrawers, you might get a therapy lesson on connecting your past upbringing to your emotional responses. It's not a complete divergence from the main subject matter, but some readers might find it enough of a tangent to lose focus.
As a matter of fact, Bradley and Furrow even mention that this book is not necessarily one where you read from cover to cover (of course you may if you desire). Skipping the sidebars and technical stuff icons are perfectly permissible and are there more so for those looking to dive into that rabbit hole. They also mention that it is perfectly fine to jump around from chapter to chapter as it is more of a guidebook/reference than a start-to-finish kind of book.
And therein lies perhaps the question to ask yourself before you consider whether this book is for you or not. The information? Solid. The expertise and qualifications of the authors? Sound. It all boils down to the delivery. If you're busy, looking for something you can get into a bite-sized piece at a time, without losing quality of content, this is a great resource. If however, you are more of a traditional reader, wanting the heady, academic writing blended in with the takeaways and applications, this book might have too many bells and whistles. This is not to say that you can't read this book chapter by chapter, line by line. So which one are you? The free to roam, buffet style, pick and choose your own adventure, or the give it all to me in a one pot stew?
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Writer Bio: Dr. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY25708) in California and a Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist. She sees clients throughout the state of California via secure online therapy platforms. Stuck in a relationship where seemingly little things seem to spark arguments? Schedule a free consultation with Dr. Hsueh today.
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